Dr. Karyl McBride is a psychologist author who works as a marriage and family therapist, specializing in family-related dysfunctional problems, and researches the children of narcissistic parents.

“Mom, I'll never be good enough for you… Right?” It was the striking sentence on the cover of the book that drew me to the book. In my opinion, it is the indispensable motto of the mother-daughter relationship. You know that in order to be approved and accepted by your mother, you must constantly do something. No matter how hard you try to achieve, it doesn't make you feel good. Empty mirror… The title of the book is point-and-shoot. The emptiness inside the person reflected in the mirror made sense to me.

The book consists of 3 parts. The first two chapters describe the blow to the relationships of narcissistic mothers and their daughters and their impact on their lifestyles. The final chapter also offers a guide to recovery. It is a sincere work in which the author presents his case experiences and research. It creates an internal reckoning with yourself. There is a questionnaire at the beginning of the book, for example, you can analyze yourself. He wants you to understand and accept your deep feelings. You position yourself, give you a motivation and act accordingly. You feel more authentic and healthy.

Motherhood is so idealized in our culture that a mother is often devoted to her children. Mother's Day is one of the most celebrated days in many countries. It is an unshakable sacred entity institution.

I am also a mother of daughters, I learned motherhood from my mother, culture, reading a little and living on that journey. I tried to be perfect, I made mistakes, I stumbled, I fell, I got up, I had my joys, I guess this is how this institution is lived. Our mother-daughter relationship took a hit, and in the healing process, I learned to say things as they are. No hints, no guards, no pretending that I'm not. I became stronger as I found examples that supported me in the book.

Dr. Alexander Lowen: “When wealth is placed above wisdom, when fame is valued more than reputation, when success becomes more important than self-esteem, culture itself overvalues ​​appearance. And it should be considered narcissistic.” (p.112)

So beauty continues to be the basic principle. Unfortunately for a girl, her most important asset is her image. Research supports this. Body image disorder has become an epidemic. There were women who felt empty where the image was more important than their feelings, identity and values. Such women always struggle with feelings of inadequacy.

An anecdote from my life:

My wife was a nice and passive person. I was putting up with everything. He was fine with me. I was the one who brought the bread home. He used me. He was narcissistic and I had a narcissistic wound. But I couldn't see that when I was in a relationship. I see it when I look today. I was handling everything. He was fired many times for getting into arguments with people. I found jobs for him. He didn't strive for anything. In retrospect, he was unaware of what I had done to him. He deserved it, he didn't see it as a blessing. He never said sorry. I was exploding and at the same time I was living. I am quite tolerant of abnormal behavior. I got divorced after 17 years, I'm recovering.

“The message I got from my mom was that she would love me if I did what she thought needed to be done. I'm trying to be myself, but I don't know who I am." (p.217) I made this quote, it seems to sum up my life…

While raising my daughter, I chose not to be a performance-oriented mother. While building my life, I chose not to interfere in his decisions and choices. He learns about life by groping, not knowing what is right, sometimes by crossing his mind. I'm trying to stand by your side too… there is only one thing I am absolutely sure of in life, the two women I love are my mother and my daughter. My lucks…